With all the recent news and speculation about who will be selected to be a member of President-elect Obama’s administration, I couldn’t help but rack my brain to come up with suggestions. After much critical thinking and drooling, it hit me: President-elect Obama should appoint Dr. Phil McGraw to head up a newly formed Department of Pseudo-psychology.You see, if Dr. Phil has the psychological prowess to diagnose, rehabilitate and embarrass even the most hardened psychopath in the span of a 60 minutes just think what he could do with national issues – I’m not sure which national issues, but I’m sure he can handle them. Ok, here’s the bottom line: intellectual capacity like Dr. Phil’s cannot go to waste. So I propose we make up a department he can head up and help Americans with all sorts of stuff: the Department of Pseudo-psychology.
The Department of Pseudo-psychology could have countless roles in this administration. It could help politicians, business leaders and news anchors with self esteem issues. It could promote the use of country clichés to combat depression. It could even establish a national hugathon to help payoff the national debt.
Of course, Dr. Phil would be the main weapon of this exciting new department. I see him working closely with the Department of Education to improve mathematic performance - “Those video games aren’t going to help you get a job, Johnny. Your math is” (Audience applause). I see him coordinating his efforts with the Department of Health and Human Services to reduce the obesity epidemic - “You aren’t gonna be any happier by just feeding your face. So snap out of it” (Audience applause).
But, probably his most important role in the administration will be to work one-on-one with foreign enemies to improve their view of Americans. Just imagine if Dr. Phil could get Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad to sit on his couch and talk to him. “Now Mahmoud, do you feel loved? Cause I get the sense that you really need a hug. And that’s ok. I am here for you.” (Audience applause)
If you aren’t convinced already, you will be after this crucial point: the appointment of Dr. Phil and his magical mustache to the Obama Administration would add an aura of credibility to an administration severely lacking in facial hair.
The Department of Pseudo-psychology could have countless roles in this administration. It could help politicians, business leaders and news anchors with self esteem issues. It could promote the use of country clichés to combat depression. It could even establish a national hugathon to help payoff the national debt.
Of course, Dr. Phil would be the main weapon of this exciting new department. I see him working closely with the Department of Education to improve mathematic performance - “Those video games aren’t going to help you get a job, Johnny. Your math is” (Audience applause). I see him coordinating his efforts with the Department of Health and Human Services to reduce the obesity epidemic - “You aren’t gonna be any happier by just feeding your face. So snap out of it” (Audience applause).But, probably his most important role in the administration will be to work one-on-one with foreign enemies to improve their view of Americans. Just imagine if Dr. Phil could get Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad to sit on his couch and talk to him. “Now Mahmoud, do you feel loved? Cause I get the sense that you really need a hug. And that’s ok. I am here for you.” (Audience applause)
If you aren’t convinced already, you will be after this crucial point: the appointment of Dr. Phil and his magical mustache to the Obama Administration would add an aura of credibility to an administration severely lacking in facial hair.
As Obama’s administration takes shape, let’s hope he heeds my words. America and the world needs Dr. Phil.
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