My presidential slogan

Destined to be remembered forever as the actor that portrayed screechy-voiced, Nixon-loving prick Alex P. Keaton and lame time-traveler Marty McPenis-face (Can’t remember the character’s last name), few people know Michael J Fox got his first big break acting in the kick-ass cult classic Midnight Madness.

Midnight Madness is the story of a bunch of college kids who are chosen by some hash head to play this really intense scavenger hunt. The college kids are divided into these color-coded teams, and they run around town finding clues and all sorts of goofy crap. Blah blah blah…

Any way, Fox plays some annoying little shit with daddy issues and is pretty forgettable. But, the movie is awesome because of a character named Barf. I love Barf a lot. His personality is exactly how you imagine an in-bred child raised next to a nuclear waste dump would be. Basically, he has the IQ of a peanut and the stunning looks of Sloth from the Goonies.

Here Barf tries his hand at arranging a series of cut out letters into a word that he thinks solves one of the clues:




Oddly enough, Barf’s quintessential “Fagabeefe” catchphrase used to ring through my brain at random moments throughout the last twenty years: during wedding ceremonies, physics class lectures, break dance competitions, etc.

I had all but forgotten the catchphrase until this presidential elections. That's when I decided that if I ever run for office, I’m not going to go with some esoteric, make-me-feel-good-about-my-future slogan like “Change” or “Hope.”

Nope. When I run for office, it’s gonna be: Anderson 2012: Fagabeefe!